Smaug

I am excited to see this and I hope the movie has more of Smaug than the trailer does.

Not Dead Yet

I know, I know. My posts are sporadic and do not follow any form of schedule. 

Ever have one of those days where all you can think is "Fuck it. I don't want to die but I don't care to live any more either. Maybe, just maybe, if I hurt myself enough I'll drop this line of thought and be okay" ? If you haven't then you won't understand. If you have then you understand and know there is no easy answer. Thursday was one of those days for me. It all started on Wednesday though. 

My mental funk has been low for quite a while now. Wednesday I felt it take a sharper angle down and called out from work. Sure my sinuses were hurting but it was the mental state that kept me home. I wasn't in a hurting mood just in a "I want to sit in a dark corner" mood. I made sure I had not missed any meds and spent the day being mostly quiet and doing nothing. I made sure I would get a full night's sleep and thought Thursday would be a better day. I couldn't have been more wrong. I woke up Thursday morning groggy and grumpy. I let the dog out, checked my e-mail, fed the dog and realized it was a bad day. I was depressed, I was angry and I really wanted to hurt myself. A fall, a cut, a hit, anything to distract my mind. I would have been happy with a tooth ache (I only get those when I don't want them.) I decided to try puppy therapy and it didn't work. I realized I was getting angry at the dog for playing rough when I normally wouldn't be bothered by that. Knowing nothing good would come of me being awake I called out sick, took a swig of Wild Turkey and went back to bed. There was a time when I wouldn't have realized what was happening in my head. I'm glad that time has passed.

Today is a better day as I have no desires to hurt myself and I'm not any angrier than usual. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

Life at 110 mph

I write this from the safety of the work desk as I do not wish to get hit by the wife for the speed admission until later tonight.

It was an interesting weekend. It all started when I dropped my Harley backing it into the garage. My left foot came out from under me causing the bike and myself to fall over. Better that it happened at 0 mph than 80 mph. I strained my back trying to get it up and, luckily, my wife came to help me. I burned three fingertips , a knee and an ankle on the pipe getting it back up. Did I mention I was in shorts and flip flops? Lesson learned.

Friday was my son's 18th birthday and I could not get out of work that day so I made plans to see him on Saturday. I got up early Saturday morning, made sure I had everything I needed, gave the Harley a twice over and then hit the road from Pensacola to Montgomery. According to Google Maps it was 162 miles from my driveway to his. The ride up was uneventful. I saw a wild fox try to cross the road and then change it's mind. I also took time to think "Gee, it's cooler than I expected this morning. I probably should have worn long sleeves. Oh well. I'll be home before 8pm so no worries." Insert ominous music.

I picked my son up and went to Montgomery Harley-Davidson to pick up a dealer poker chip. We were happy to see we happened to arrive on the Hot rods and Harleys day at the dealership. My son loves the 1973 Mustang Mach 1 and they had one on display. We took time to check out all of the cars and bikes, pick up a couple of shirts and poker chips, and then head out. On the way out one of the sales people made the joke "You always need something, you just don't know what until you get here." We both laughed. Insert ominous music.

My son and I went out for lunch, saw an old friend and enjoyed spending time together. I had a great day with my son. As this was the point of the trip I consider it a success.

Then I went to get gas before leaving Montgomery. I gassed up, bought and drank a bottle of water and clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick. The Harley won't start. I look at the battery indicator and the battery doesn't have enough juice to kick the engine over. Of course Harley hasn't made a kick start model in decades. I'm stuck! Luckily I have the extended warranty so I called them for a tow. The dealership didn't close for two more hours. Maybe I could get a new battery and get on the road to get home before sunset.

For my $50 extended warranty deductible I got: A tow to the dealership, a new battery, a new voltage regulator, a new stator, new primary oil and every wire on the Harley disconnected and reconnected. It was 8:30pm before I was able to get back on the road and almost midnight before I got home. I'm so happy the two guys working the maintenance department were willing to stay two and a half hours late to get me back on the road.

I'm now on I-65 headed South. The road is empty, the moon is rising on my left and I'm all alone with my thoughts. I would like to say I had a deep meaningful conversation with myself but that would be a lie. My only thoughts were "Damn it's cold!" I stopped at the Greenville AL Wal-mart to get a sweatshirt and another bottle of water. Further down the road and it is still empty, the moon is a little higher and I still don't have any deep thoughts worth sharing beyond "Damn it's cold!"

I soon realized speed didn't matter. No matter how fast I went I was going to be cold. Why be cold any longer than I have to? I rolled the throttle and put the Harley up to 110 mph. Why have a 110 cubic inch engine if you aren't going to enjoy it? Now I'm flying down the empty interstate, still cold, still not thinking deep thoughts and imagining my brother laughing at me if he could see me. In the midst of all this a thought finally came to me "Would a tire blowing up at 110 mph be any worse than a tire blowing up at 75 mph?" I decided not to find out and brought my speed back down to just under 75 mph. Was it 5 miles at 110? Was it 20? I don't know. I really don't. I was in a zone and just going.

I got home around 11:30 pm. It was a helluva day.

Here's a dragon on a skull for your pleasure.

Life: The Game

Things have been better for me in the last couple of weeks. It took time but I've come out of the dark and find myself enjoying the shadows. My wife and dog have a lot to do with me doing better mentally.

Today is my son's 18th birthday. Even though facebook seems to think he is older than that. Happy Birthday Russ! Daddy loves you!

Tomorrow I plan to ride up to Montgomery to spend the day with him. This will be my longest ride on the Harley so far. I'm looking forward to it. I'm thinking three hours up and three hours back on my own will give me plenty of head clearing time. Hope my old ass can handle it.

I'm still enjoying Neverwinter and I'm still amazed at all it offers considering it is a FREE game. Blog stuff here.

My dog, Irdin Silverbow, is growing so fast! And yes, that is his name. In the picture below you can see how big he was on April 6th 2013 and then on May 18th 2013.

Dragon's Lair

Dragon's Lair!

If you didn't play this in a video arcade then you haven't really lived. I don't know how many quarters I fed this game but I know it was a lot. I'm sure my parents were giving me odd looks when I was ask for more quarters to play it.

Kids and younger adults today probably look at it and think "What's all the fuss about? The scenes are too short, there are only 5 options for the character to use and it isn't even 3D!" Well these people can go suck a dragon egg. This game was and still is awesome! At a time when all video games used sprites to represent the characters and 3D was done with red and blue lenses this game was a break through. It was a cartoon you could actually play!

Of course when this game came out cartoons weren't as accessible as they are now. If you slept in on Saturday morning you missed your weekly allotment of cartoons. If you were lucky, your parents had cable, you got home from school on time and nobody made you do your homework right away you might have been able to catch Tom & Jerry on TBS during the week.

The princess is waiting. Go save her!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHXrrSukbp4

Do You Remember...

... when Rock 'n' Roll was fun?

What Is The Order

Let the conspiracy begin! And the drinking as well.

www.whatistheorder.com

Not Quite As Dark

A mental health update for you. While my days aren't filled with kittens and rainbows they aren't as dark as they were a week ago. I think that finally having my brother's ashes placed at the cemetery has something to do with this. He passed in August 2012 and we just now were able to get the stone in and the ashes placed. By coincidence the stone and ashes were ready the same weekend my mother was coming down to visit. My mother, wife and I were present when the funeral home put the stone in place. I think seeing my mother helped some too.

I'm still dealing with daily depression and the occasional unexplained anger. Luckily the anger spells pass quickly and I realize what is happening well enough to avoid conflict with others.

I've had some numbness issues on the left side of my face and I'm constantly worried that I'll wake up with a non-responsive face due to another Bell's Palsy attack. That was no fun the first time it happened and I really don't want to experience that again.

Luckily for me I have a wife, three cats and a dog at home that are always happy to see me and that helps me keep myself together.

Neverwhere?

I didn't want this blog to get overrun with Neverwinter posts so I put a WP site up at my domain for my Neverwinter posts. Well, for most of them anyways.

http://www.anthonyrmiller.com/neverwinter/

Let's Ride!

I think Irdin is saying "Turn this thing around and let's ride!" If I thought he would be able to stay on the back seat I would take him for a ride. Perhaps I should start a "Buy Irdin A Sidecar" fundraising project.

The Precious

I boosted this image from +Jewel Daab over at Google Plus. I think it is an accurate depiction of how much I am currently enjoying Neverwinter.

You enter the room and see...

... an adventure!

Are you playing Neverwinter yet? I went in to this open beta expecting to complain about all of the things wrong with it. Instead I find myself excited about all the things right with it!

From a MMO view:
If you want to level by crafting, you can.
If you want to level by following the official story, you can.
If you want to level by killing mobs left and right, you can.
If you want to level by completing player generated content, you can.

From a RPG view:
This is a visual representation of the D&D I grew up with and love.
Want to go solo and experience a new world? You can.
Want to group with others and take on harder content? You can.

From a RP view:
Well, role-playing is a bit of a challenge in any MMO. Too many people don't understand it and seem to enjoy making it harder for others. No real difference here. As I understand it the unofficial RP server is Mindflayer. Check out Neverwinter RP for more information.

I really enjoy The Foundry. This is where other players create D&D based adventures for people to play. Just like the old days when an inspired GM would create an adventure and then guide a group of players through it. Now you don't need dice, paper, pencils or a group to do it. This also provides great access to D&D for those that didn't/don't have others to play with. We don't all have time to schedule a weekly gaming session to complete an adventure for weeks on end. With this we can jump in whenever we have time to spare.

The game is free to play and you can enjoy it without spending a cent. However, Perfect World will be more than happy to take your money should you wish to spend any. I haven't seen anything in the money store that you must have to play but I've come across a few nice things. One of the spending motivators Perfect World has is locked boxes. Boxes with great, rare and super rare loot drop in game as you kill things. Not all the time but often enough. If you want to open the box you need to buy a key from the money store. What if you don't want to spend the money to open the box though? (what's in the box? what's in the booox?!) You can buy them from the Auction House in game for game currency. It will take longer to get them this way but you will have way more adventure. If Perfect World does the boxes in Neverwinter as they have in other games each type of box will be a limited release. Once they are gone the company won't drop any more like it. This would be your only chance to get _____mount / item / whatever the super rare is.

I'm having a great time playing this game and I look forward to many more adventures.

May The 4th Be With You

Strong with her the Force is. The sexy Force that is.

Go On An Adventure

There was a time that when you sat down to play a game, video or pencil & paper, that you had no idea where you were going to end up. You only knew that you were about to go on an adventure. What happened to that?

Playing Neverwinter over the past week I've come to realize there are people out there that either don't care for the adventure or have never been on one. One of the features of the game is a sparkling path that will lead you to the next point on the map for you current quest. Following a sparkling path is not going on an adventure. It is simply following the easiest route from A to B. If you look at some of the Neverwinter videos I have posted you will see it. Yes, you can turn it on and off. I've gotten to the point I don't even realize it is there any more. I want to go on an adventure. I want to see every nook and cranny of the map. I want to climb the rocks that weren't supposed to be climbed. I want to wade across the river others see as a barrier. I want to experience the entire game world. Maybe I'm just odd in that regard.

So when did we lose our sense of adventure? I don't know. I think it has slowly crept up on us. Maybe it started with the Game Shark or the Contra Code. People began looking for easier ways to get to the end of the game. I admit I'm guilty of this myself. When World of Warcraft came out people began making add ons that would show you where to go, what to click, when to do something, you name it. The game was no longer about playing it was about clicking the right thing at the right time to get the right reward. There are animal behavior studies that have done the same thing. Neverwinter has really made it obvious though with this sparkling trail. However! The developers make you pay a price, so to speak, for taking the easy path to the goal. You miss most of the resource nodes, treasure chests and a number encounters that provide loot. To ignore the sparkling trail means finding better loot, more resources and having more fun in game.

Don't worry about reaching level X. Don't be concerned with what the next quest may have. Don't be in such a rush to reach the end. Enjoy the game and take the advice offered by +Shawna Mac.

Image by Shawna Mac. Click to embiggen.

My Head Is In Mississipi

The Spartan Race in Mississippi this year finally has a location announced. Muddy Joe's in Kiln, MS on October 19th.

Care to join me?

http://share.spartanrace.com/x/5HqfF

Forbes Covers Gaming?

I had no idea that Forbes covered gaming. Maybe I should read it more often. Good article here on the new Neverwinter MMO.  http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2013/04/30/the-surprising-excellence-of-the-new-neverwinter-mmorpg-open-beta-launches-today/

I'm enjoying the game. It gives me the solo D&D experience I wished for as a kid and allows me to group with friends for the party D&D experience I've always enjoyed. Great game.

Once you finish the game article be sure to check out the conversation piece with R. A. Salvatore. I've finally forgiven him for killing Chewie. http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2013/03/05/a-conversation-with-r-a-salvatore-part-one-the-last-threshold-forgotten-realms-and-dungeons-dragons/

Black Gold, Dwarven Tea

The Neverwinter MMO has a Foundry system that works like the one in Star Trek Online. Not surprising consider both games were made and distributed by the same companies. The Foundry system allows players to create their own events, quests, stories, etc... and share them with other players. This is something more MMOs could benefit from.

Do you remember creating your own dungeons and adventures in D&D back in the day? Now you can do it digitally.

Luckily for the players there have been people steadily working on Foundry missions so they would be ready at launch time. The video below is the first part of a long story told through the Foundry system.

Play Neverwinter.

Neverwinter

The new Dungeons & Dragons PC game is live! Welcome to Neverwinter.
In this video you see the second dungeon style quest and a city filled with NPCs that need to be taken down. I am using the Rogue class Drow in game. Learn more about the game here http://nw.perfectworld.com/.

The Dark Life

I know I've been lucky in life and things could always be worse than they are. That doesn't change the fact that writing this post isn't easy. Talking to my wife about it wasn't easy either. I didn't even talk to her, I put the words into an e-mail.

As some of you may know I'm bipolar. Zoloft has done a great job of keeping me level but it doesn't always get the job done. For reasons unknown the chemical breakdown between brain cells gets worse at times and the data does not flow the way it should. When this happens I either become manic or depressed. Starting this past Sunday, April 21st, I have been depressed and each day has been worse than the one before it. I smile, put up some fun posts, spend time with the puppy, with my wife, play games and pretty much just try to live life. The tricks just aren't working this week. Honestly, I'm  a bit concerned. I can usually bounce back within 72 hours but that hasn't happened this time.

I have no plans to hurt myself or others. Do not worry about that. 

More after the jump.

To Boldly Game

Star Trek: The Game has released!
I purchased the PC version via Steam and so far I am enjoying it. The game is more story than action driven most of the time. The video below shows my first twenty minutes or so in game. You can play solo, with a friend or with a stranger. The choice is yours.

Irdin Meets Roomba

Today I introduced my Siberian Husky, Irdin, to Roomba. He thinks that it wants to play. It just wants him to get out of the way so it can clean.

Testing how WARFRAME looks over Twitch.tv



Watch live video from anthony_miller on TwitchTV

WARFRAME

Not bad for a F2P co-op. Pretty good actually. Weapons and suits can be modified. Give it a shot.

The video is one of the early missions in game. I got a little turned around but it didn't take me long to catch up with the rest of the team. The still images are from another early mission that I played solo.

You can: Group with strangers to play (people that aren't your friend yet), setup a private session to game with your friends or just play solo. The choice is yours.

www.warframe.com

Let's Get Defiant: The Game

Have you heard about Defiance yet? It is a television series being shown on SyFy (I hate that name and pronounce it sifee) and a game produced by Trion Worlds. I'll talk about the show later. For now, let's discuss the game.

tl;dr - It is a fun game with a sci-fi setting that doesn't require a lot of thought to enjoy.

The reviews are all over the place on this one. People love it, people hate it, people think it is just right. Something I have learned over the years is you can't always trust the opinions of others to match with your own. With the reviews out like they are it's too hard to say if this game is a hit or a miss for you. For me this game is a hit.

If you have never played a MMO before this is a decent introduction. You only have to pay one time to play, no monthly fees. You will play through an ongoing story line that ties into the television show that will have you playing solo at times and grouping with other players at times. You can play either style (solo vs group) and enjoy the game. Just like candy bars, sometimes you feel like a group and sometimes you don't.

More after the jump below the video.

More Irdin

Photos from Irdin's trip from the breeder to his forever home. My wife and I took him to Banfield veterinary clinic at PetSmart in Pensacola for a check up and vaccinations before we took him home.

He quickly decided he didn't want to ride in the back seat.

Going to the pet store and the vet is tiring. Take me to my forever home.

My Siberian Husky. Irdin Silverbow.

Ir (as pronounced in Fir)
Din (as pronounced in Dinner)

Fans of fantasy can probably figure out where the name came from. I've been using variations of it in gaming since 2002.

Big Motorcycle Up On The High Dive

My 2007 Harley-Davidson Ultra Classic Screamin' Eagle.
My brother's ashes are in the dash pad so that we can keep riding together.

Out For A Ride

Out for a ride with the wife on March 24th 2013.
I learned three things on this ride.
1 - The Klock Werks 8.5" fairing is awesome.
2 - The GoPro camera works.
3 - A chest mounted camera isn't a good idea on an Ultra, the viewers can't see much!

By your own Klock Werks windshield here http://www.kustombaggers.com/

Points of Interest

If you are just now finding me you may wonder what my points of interest are.
Honestly, there are too many to list them all and my whims seem to change with the wind.

Follow the jump below for a list of things we may have in common.

This Ain't Sparta

As some of you may know, I'm not in the best of shape physically. We'll discuss mentally at a later time. Ever since my brother died I have wanted to get in better shape and I have been losing weight. I still need something to help me motivate my motivation.

Step one was getting a puppy. Daily walks benefit both he and I.
Step two came from an unexpected source. +Nate DeMontigny made a post on Google + about competing in a Spartan Race and challenging others to do the same. In our discussion on that post he eliminated my objections to taking part in one. I signed up for the race closest to me this year. Mississippi on October 19th.

What will it be like? I don't know.
Do I expect to get my ass handed to me by the course? Yes.
Will I finish? I damn sure better!

The location of October's race hasn't been finalized yet but it is coming.
Care to join me?

http://share.spartanrace.com/x/5HqfF

What Means Blog?

The title above is a joke only two people will get including myself. Sometimes that is how my sense of humor runs.

I haven't done the blog thing in a while and the new interaction between Blogger and Google Plus, thank you +Dale Jackson for pointing this out, has my attention. We'll see how it goes.